Dear World,

The Greeks had it right...

Something interesting- ancient Greek culture didn’t really believe in change- they idealized a more continuous flow to life.  The circle was thought of as the perfect shape because it always returned to where it started.

I think a lot of people, particularly twenty-somethings, have such a hard time because they don’t really know where they started, or they’re not willing to acknowledge it.  I really do believe we live our lives in circles- they don’t always keep the same radius, sometimes we branch out farther and sometimes we stick closer to where we started, but we keep coming back to the same point, or thing.

The most intense and life-changing experiences I have had since graduating from high school were not while back-packing through Europe or in a distant classroom or talking to some intriguing foreign man.  They were very close to “home.”  (Home not necessarily always being a physical location, but just being your roots- where you come from.)

Anyway, my thoughts are kind of convoluted right now, but this is definitely something I’m interested in thinking about more.

SURVIVING YOUR TWENTIES

michaelikesit:

whatthehale:

shimmerandshine:

“They call it the “quarter-life crisis.” It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean, or insincere, but that they are just as confused as you. You look at your job… and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because you suddenly realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past for dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future, and making a life for yourself… and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender. What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. And really, this is an acknowledment that you are not alone in this….. “

Yes… yes… yesss… woah yes. 

Yup, I made it.  All the way through.

I just got done with a long phone conversation with one of my best friends talking about this very thing.  

Hey World, I'd like you to know...

francine

dradams:

sorry about your grandmothers passing.

an interesting conversation (open and without judgement or pious) between Deepka Chopkra and Robert Thurman (who is adorable) called “Conversations between God and Buddah” (which it is not about, it is more about “what” we are and “where” that is and “how” it might be as powerful there than here- whatever “there” is……might be helpful to you.

also;

“when things fall apart” pema chadron. she is a buddhist monk (married though) but does not, well not totally anyway, push deep Buddhism on people- but she helps. and “when things fall apart” was all that kept me afloat when my last big ship of a romance a year or whatever the hell it was ago happened. i would’ve crumbled (more) had i not found it.

just suggestions.

i bet she was sweet.

i was more or less raised around the sweetest people, all elders in that true sence and i feel like i have always kind of been like a senior citizen myself (because they have such open hearts and are so full of wonder- but are such barked tree’s willing to let it fall apart and grow again without looking….” so i understand the loss.

i miss my grandfather ever day of every year at least once a day.

he was a true gentleman. my total hero. never sick one day for work in over 25 years and just a machine. plus badass typewriters.

but how he loved my grandmother. i mean, it was mythology.

i am doomed and blessed having witnessed that kind of love.

it may be impossible for two people to love each other like that now.

or maybe it was something i still can’t understand.

there were wars between them (two) and a factory where they both worked and……just so much.

i hope you feel how powerful she has already become from this new perfect distance where a cycle completed. they start again. always.

I absolutely LOVE this post.  My grandmother passed away in March and I think about her constantly.  I also can completely relate to the idea that “i am doomed and blessed having witnessed that kind of love.”  BOTH sets of my grandparents are the epitome of true love- and I don’t know if that kind of love is still possible.  The problem is I also know I hold out for that kind of love, and sometimes I wonder, what happens if it doesn’t exist?  Is it worth it to settle for something less, or are you better of searching forever?  At least then you still have the hope.

I just re-read what I wrote, and while I don’t want to change anything, I want to clear up that it shouldn’t read as bleakly as it does.  I DO believe that true love is still out there, it just looks different now than it used to.  I just hope at some point it comes in a way that I recognize. :)