Sometimes I think about the past and I just get so darn sad. And I feel incredibly lame saying that, because I’m only 23 years old, but maybe that’s why I feel that way. I’m reading this book about a woman thinking back to hear earlier 20s, which was this fun and crazy time in her life, and all she wants to do is go back. She has a husband and three grown daughters and this absolutely beautiful life, and she just wants to go back to living in this hippy commune house where she had, what appeared to be, nothing.
I just plugged in an external hard drive with all my old computers’ contents on it and whoosh…. memory lane. I saw a picture of the summer fling I swore, and sometimes still swear, I was in love with. I saw a picture of my grandma who passed away a few months ago at a Christmas where she took part in a paper throwing contest. I saw the picture of this family that meant so much to me that is not a family any more. Things change SO fast, and I realize that my days of carefree craziness are getting fewer and fewer.
That being said, I am about 15 days away from summer break. (Yes, as a teacher I still have summer break!) And summers have always been my best time for chaos. This summer is going to be chaos- I give myself permission to be a little reckless and to just let go. I need to feel my age again, I need to feel connected to something again.
I’m going to post some pictures that help bring all these feelings back.. hopefully they’ll mean something to my friends who read this blog, too. :)